I should be getting outdated. My foot hurts for no cause, reveals on Nickelodeon don’t make sense anymore, and new weed strains are simply as annoying as they’re intriguing. Don’t get me mistaken, it’s nonetheless enjoyable to check out the newest varieties and increase my tastebuds. Nevertheless, there are numerous new strains on the market that make me remorse straying from the tried and true. With Cookies and Gorilla Glue dominating dispensary cabinets, typically I ponder how completely different these “new” cuts actually are.
That was my thought once I noticed House Monkey, which has confirmed up at Colorado dispensaries throughout the final 12 months or so. A cross of Gorilla Glue #four and Wookie #15, two particular and standard cuts of ape-inspired strains, pot’s latest primate smelled greater than adequate to check out. Pungent whiffs of kerosene, Kush and bitter rubber created an aroma that felt each contemporary and acquainted, and the budtender’s pleasure at my alternative solely raised expectations. Then the flu bug hit, and my throat and lungs had been out of fee for the higher a part of every week. Attempting out my new house ape needed to wait, including to the hype.
With 5 days away from cannabis and a decrease tolerance for THC, I anticipated House Monkey to ship me to a brand new galaxy after a snapper in my bong — however I used to be caught on the launching pad, so I fired up one other bowl of fuel to get me there. No luck. Days since my final toke, I used to be confused how one thing that smelled so dank might be so tender. Including to my confusion was the pressure’s nighttime designation, in addition to the buds’ heavy trichome protection. All these components began making me marvel: Was it simply me?
Cuts of House Monkey from Denver Leisure, my home-growing associates and California dispensaries have all given me the identical results (or lack thereof), whereas focus variations carry a nondescript excessive, making me silly and sleepy, as if I had been smoking distillate. Regardless of how a lot I wished to like House Monkey, my physique simply doesn’t appear to react to it — which is odd, contemplating how positively my mind reacted to the pressure’s scent and taste. However simply because I can’t vibe with House Monkey doesn’t imply you received’t be capable to attain higher heights.
Seems to be: Normally spherical or oblong-shaped with the potential to foxtail, House Monkey’s buds are comparatively gentle and free — a bit uncommon for indica-leaning strains. A darkish forest-green colour and heavy trichome protection give the pressure a traditional OG Kush look.
Scent: A beneficiant, pungent mixture of funk, bitter and dank. Anticipate tart, earthy whiffs of gasoline and rubber with a touch of bergamot, adopted by funk, floral whiffs of lavender, soil and a subtly candy again finish.
Taste: Dominated by the terpene pinene, House Monkey’s floral, gassy and earthy notes of Diesel, hops and soil shine by way of, however you may nonetheless discover hints of lavender and citrus zest should you strive exhausting sufficient.
Results: House Monkey is labeled a nighttime or stress-free pressure by most retailers, but it surely’s all the time been fairly tame to me. The pressure’s preliminary uplift of creativity and vitality tapers off inside an hour, and the munchies and comedown are very gentle — nearly nonexistent. The easygoing results make it an excellent candidate for daytime and low-tolerance customers.
House grower’s take: “Bought mine in a pack of seeds from Bodhi. Might solely get 4 of them to take root out of the eight I purchased, they usually didn’t yield closely after about 9 weeks. They smelled and tasted nice, kind of like some bitter citrus tea and skunk, however took numerous work. I’d give it a strive once more if I ever discovered clones of it, however that was an excessive amount of work. Would quite simply keep on with Gorilla Glue.”
Is there a pressure you’d wish to see profiled? Electronic mail email@example.com.